What are You Prepared For?
By Andrea Lingle
Today, I have on my metallic silver Mary Janes with little decorative holes in the uppers. The holes are a lovely touch, but they let junk in. This means they really can’t be used for tromping around in the dirt or spreading mulch, two of my favorite activities. Not that that stopped me this afternoon. Little crumbles of dirt lodged themselves between my toes as I cleaned cleavers out of my hostas. I was not prepared for weeding this afternoon.
Yesterday, I had on my wide-toe-box ankle boots with thick cozy socks and was well prepared for the chilly mountain air of the early morning—and very poorly prepared for the warm sunshine of the afternoon.
Tomorrow, I will have on my nursing clogs as I clump through the linoleum halls of the hospital. I am never sure what I will find on those halls, but the hours I spent in school and at the bedside have prepared me for (most) of whatever I will see.
Preparation is not about knowing what is coming up and acting accordingly. Preparation, necessarily, happens in uncertainty. We cannot know what will happen, so we cannot know how, exactly, to prepare, but, nevertheless, we must prepare.
How?
Attend to this day. Preparation is getting up and putting on shoes. If they end up being slightly wrong, fine, but you can make it work. Preparation is doing the boring work of showing up, day after day, to learn and grow and adapt and stretch and strengthen. A marathon is not contained between the starting and finish lines. That score and six miles is just the culmination of months of slow, relentless preparation. Each step necessary for race day, but not enough by itself. One step, one day, one moment of preparation is not going to get you through whatever is coming, but whatever is coming is more than met by the stream of attended moments strung out behind you like a well-watered garden.
Pilgrimage is often a period of time with dates and times and locations attached. It is often something that is highly anticipated, with good reason, but a bit abstract.
How does one prepare for the numinous?
By attending to this moment. This very one. And the next. By becoming attuned to the deep Divine Heart in this moment is to train your soul for pilgrimage—whatever that will bring. To prepare is to learn to sink your roots into the great, dark depths of the sacred now, knowing that you never can know with certainty what is ahead, but the life which you draw from is ample. Bountiful. Absurdly abundant. Yes, but HOW?
It begins with listening. It continues with listening. It, as far as I know, ends with listening.
Listen to the birds and the wind and the blessing of rain. Listen to the humming of a child and the sob of the broken hearted. Listen to the stories of the aged and the fancies of the young. Listen to the beating of your heart. Listen past the answers that arise. Listen past the certainties. Keep your ear to the ground until you can hear the silence between the moments.
Listen until you hear love.
By the time your toes are curled over the starting line, you already are living into your preparation. I have had hundreds of dreams about sitting on stage in front of an expectant audience, piano keys and mind equally blank. I have no idea what piece I am supposed to be playing. I didn’t practice. I didn’t memorize. I don’t know how to move forward because I already didn’t. Playing begins months or years before the golden light hits the black and white keys.
No matter what the nature of your pilgrimage or journey, you are already preparing. It starts with attention and continues for the span of your days. Someday, perhaps, you will place your foot on a named pilgrim’s path, but that path will be contiguous with the series of steps you have taken today and yesterday and last year. Perhaps that is encouraging, perhaps it is challenging, but it is the most truth I can spin. This is your one life, your one road, your one series of moments.
You are preparing for something. It is worth your life?
If you feel inclined, comment with one word or one sentence that answers: What are you preparing for?