Non Judgment?

Photo Credit Ryan Roth Klinck

By Kristina Roth Klinck

Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried out, "Send everyone away from me." So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers.
Genesis 45:1

No one tells you about the adjustment phase when you get married—when you’re adjusting to life together and encountering everything that your partner does differently than you. Ryan and I have been married for a short seventy-four days, I counted. And while these seventy-four days have been wonderful, we have run into the ways we do things differently. 
 
Several weeks into our marriage, I came home from work, and Ryan had lovingly started cooking dinner. Rather than a kind thank you for getting it started after my crazy day, I went straight to questioning him as to why he was using such a small pan to brown some hamburger meat. That meat was pretty packed into that little pan! I have a hard time letting others do things because I tend to think that my way is the best way. Rather than kindly thanking Ryan for getting things started, I judged his process of browning hamburger meat. 
 
In a first reading of this text, Joseph appears to be a really good person. He seems like a model of forgiveness, telling his brothers not to be distressed or angry with themselves for selling him into slavery. But, just a few chapters back, we saw Joseph manipulating his brothers, accusing them of spying, and setting them up for stealing. As I try to come to terms with this text in relation to “non-judgment,” the sixth key to braving the wilderness, I’m left with uncertainty. Is Joseph really someone who is learning to be vulnerable and courageous in trusting his brothers after what they did?
 
Part of braving the wilderness is being able to ask for what you need and allowing others to ask for what they need. The important thing in this process is being nonjudgmental, of others and also of yourself. 
 
Perhaps for Joseph, trusting his brothers was a vulnerable and courageous act. Perhaps Joseph came to trust slowly, slowly moving into a place of non-judgment. Perhaps for myself, trusting in others and trusting in another person’s way of doing things is a vulnerable and courageous act. Perhaps we all can cultivate a spirit of love and curiosity, rather than one of fear. After all, hamburger meat browns just fine in a small pan.