Making a Connection
By Andrea Lingle
Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine
Some things seems impossible. Like getting a golden retriever’s hair out of the carpet of a mini van or explaining why.
Why? Why? Why?
Somehow, when you unravel the whole ball of twine, follow every question, make every inquiry, the answer seems no closer.
Bringing God as love to the world feels impossible. Like stirring the ocean with a toothpick.
What is the connection between love, grace, pilgrimage, and a slide?
Mystery.
Foul! That cannot be the connection. Don’t despair. That is the only answer I have, but it isn’t the method. It is the what, but it isn’t the how.
Tell her to make me a cambric shirt
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
Without no seams nor needle work
Then she'll be a true love of mine
What causes the flow of love from God (who is love), to the world (which desperately needs love)? I don’t know. My guess is that God is an excess of love, and the world has a dearth of love, and this sets up a potential for love to flow from God to the world. What sets the love in motion? Making a connection. Through trying. That’s it. It’s all I have. Trying to do the impossible makes the impossible possible.
Tell her to find me an acre of land
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
Between the salt water and the sea strands
Then she'll be a true love of mine
I promised you a how. I am sure there are quite a few ways to try to connect to love flowing to the world, but the most beautiful way that I have experienced is through the Contemplative Stance taught by Elaine Heath.
Show up, pay attention, cooperate with God, and release the outcome. This is such a powerful how, I make my kids recite it every morning.
Show up with expectation. Even though the world looks bleak. Even though the pain, frustration, and disappointment of life make showing up with anything other than cynicism seem foolish. Even though you and most of what you encounter aren’t perfect. Show up. Foolishly, credulously, generously.
Pay attention. Whatever you are doing, learn to pay attention. If you are doing data entry, do so in such a way that you become adroit at paying attention. If you are swimming laps, use them to give you the capacity to keep looking.
Simone Weil writes, “Not only does the love of God have attention for its substance; the love of our neighbour, which we know to be the same love, is made of this same substance. Those who are unhappy have no need for anything in this world but people capable of giving them their attention.”
Learning to pay attention teaches us to see those whom God loves.
Tell her to reap it with a sickle of leather
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
And gather it all in a bunch of heather
Then she'll be a true love of mine
What attention brings to you, do. Become obedient to grace (which, as we know, is the self-communication of love to the world). Allow that which you sensed through attention speak into your life. Be willing. Become. Refuse the impulse to stop trying when all seems lost. The task is impossible. The cause is mysterious. Even so. Try. You are not the source of love. You are not even the impulse of love. You are the connection.
Then let go. Electricity flows through and to. When we make the connection, we don’t get to control what happens. When we show up, pay attention, and cooperate, we have done what it is for us to do. The answer has been mystery all along. Let go of needing to understand. You are just here to do the impossible.
Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine
What is the connection between love, grace, pilgrimage, and a slide?
Showing up, paying attention, cooperating, and letting go.