Who Might I Become?

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By Stephanie Evelyn McKellar

Who am I becoming? 

As Scrooge encounters a future without him, rippling with the effects of a life long-lived under his miserly virtues and values, he comes face to face with the impact of his actions, the harvest of seeds long-sown. 

Scrooge had anchored his ship at the harbors of wealth, business acumen, and an identity rooted in pinching the numbers. He had been successful. But the wisdom of the tale clearly argues that he’d climbed the wrong ladder. Scrooge had neglected the true values that bring meaning and abundance to a life lived among community, generosity, and connection. 

The grace of his story is that he gets a glimpse into the interconnectedness of the past he’d forgotten, the present he was missing, and the future potentially unfolding from his footsteps. He gets to see what we can easily miss: a stepping outside of time to take a deeper gaze at the whole picture. Where have we lost connection with who we hoped to be? Where are we potentially still living under outdated storylines, or missing the greater point of our context? What spirits come to us in our Advent season, inviting us to awaken us from our mindless steps and slumber? 

Who might I become? 

Perhaps the invitation to awaken more deeply comes through an illness that halts the far-reaching stretch of the future. Perhaps the invitation comes in the loss of a relationship you never imagined living without. Perhaps the invitation comes through encountering an older version of yourself, who may be surprised by how you’re living and what you’re pursuing. 
I have often found that the invitations come in the form of interruptions, inconveniences, and endings. They come often through loss; it is often struggle and heartache that shakes us from our slumber and demands we reassess. Yet through these transitions of self and situation, our values can be uncovered with greater clarity. What are we learning that will guide who we will become? What have we missed that we long to miss not a moment longer? 

In this season of Advent, what light is entering your story anew? What invitations are beckoning you to sit more deeply with the values that guide and will shape your life? What interruptions are throwing you off balance? Perhaps a closer investigation will uncover a whisper, a reminder of a long-forgotten innocence, or a dream too long abandoned and pushed aside. What does this Advent season whisper to you in the quiet of the darkness about who you might yet become?